Wednesday, April 10, 2013

That's the Way the Cookie Crumbles

The kids are suspicious of my cookies. Christian passed them by yesterday, an entire glorious rack of them.

"Aren't you going to have a cookie?" I asked.
"That depends," he said, "did you put something extra in them to mess them up?"

The answer was yes, that I added corn flakes. And also, yes, that it messed them up. I thought it would give them a refreshing crunch. It actually gave them a pesky chew, like when you accidentally get a piece of wax paper in your bite of saltwater taffy. Oops. Some risks in life don't pay off.

Normally I add toasted coconut, which the kids also consider to be the ruin of a perfectly good chocolate chip cookie. The toasted coconut is my favorite, which means that I get plenty of opportunity to enjoy my cookies before the kids finally break down and begrudgingly eat them.

Last week I made peanut butter thumbprint cookies with adorable little dollops of raspberry jam in the middle. Christian reluctantly tried one, but not another. I asked if he liked them and he replied, "They're good; they're just not really my thing." When Max got home, he eyed them for a minute and opted for a tall glass of carrot orange juice instead.

"You guys are weird," I said. "My mom never made cookies. She made 'green drinks' with alfalfa."

The times that I make their favorite pure, unadulterated chocolate chip cookies for them? Well, you should see all the positive reinforcement. It's like a ticker tape parade in Compliment City, all in my honor. There are audible moans and groans of pure cookie ecstasy. Sometimes hugs. And while I'm no more extraordinary than any other lab rat, I become suspicious of positive reinforcement when it comes to catering to my children's whims. I believe in fulfilling their needs, but only 18.2% of their wants.

You like these plain chocolate chip cookies? Why don't I add some walnuts next time?

On the bright side, my kids are going to grow up believing a woman can bake whatever cookies she wants. (Just as I was raised believing my mother would die before feeding us a bologna sandwich.) Long after I am dead and gone, they will reminisce to their own children that dear old mom sure baked a lot of cookies we didn't like. And they will be better men for it.

In the mean time, anybody want some gross cookies?

Monday, April 8, 2013

25 Things Before I Have To Go

  1. The windows are open, the breeze is blowing, and I finally believe that spring might be coming.
  2. Lucy does this thing to communicate with me where she shakes her whole body like she has the shivers, rattling her little tags and letting me subtly know that she needs something. I wish I loved her more than I do. It makes me feel bad about myself.
  3. I'm learning that growing up is a process that never ends. Still growing here, and hopefully up.
  4. I have absolutely no patience when it comes to painting my toenails. I glob it all on, and a few days later, when the excess has washed and worn off the surrounding skin, they look half decent.
  5. I like small bowls filled with candy. 
  6. Dinner tonight is orange chicken, courtesy of Costco's freezer section. Ryan is out of town, and I seem to have motivation for cooking when he is gone. It's because I associate preparing food with showing love. 
  7. I still can't believe I ran a half marathon. I've yet to revel in that accomplishment and I don't know why. I had very similar feelings with my college graduation.
  8. I'm terribly, terribly afraid of becoming a serious person. I only want to be 25% serious, maximum, at any time. But lately I find myself thinking serious thought. Oh help.
  9. On Thursday, Ryan and I will have been married sixteen years. Sweet sixteen, indeed.
  10. I am interested in the idea of having a lot less stuff. 
  11. My social media of choice these days is Instagram. (tbeve00) 
  12. Max just came in looking for squirt guns with his friends. Welcome, sunshine!
  13. I'm dying to smell freshly cut grass.
  14. I need to reschedule my hair appointment, but keep forgetting. Maybe writing it down here will help?
  15. Writing feels rusty. Like stiff muscles.
  16. My parents are on the other side of the planet. And I can sort of feel it.
  17. We took a road trip to South Carolina for our spring break. I came back with a new nickname for Ryan: Boss. I keep forgetting to use it, but it makes me giggle.
  18. If you want to hear a story that delights and haunts me at the same time, watch this.
  19. I buy ice cream, but I rarely eat it. I like knowing it's there in the freezer. 
  20. I have fallen in love with reading again, which I think is why I have struggled writing. When I was writing more frequently, I was hardly reading at all. Is this a cycle?
  21. I've been teaching Christian how to drive. The drivers here are terrible and I'm determined to give him a long, thorough education. You're welcome, Society.
  22. Neon yellow pants are my new favorite.
  23. I'm not a person who requires a lot of friends. The handful I have are amazing people.
  24. The fridge in the garage is not going to clean itself. But I'm going to give it another day or two, just to be sure.
  25. Phew.
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